zavensfanclub

Dairy Number One . . .

ok ..i was just soo pleased to see this request..
akid i'll be happy too
but if one day i didn't write don't worry..it will be just beause
i've got so many things to do.hw and stuff..you know..

ok..start?action!
1st day:ohh..i was so mad
!i was going toi leave my firends in washington..each of us was
leaving in a different timing...so i got upo at 4:30 to say goodbye
to all...they were all crying but i was strong..although from
insuide..my heart was breakign..
then in the airport..i was afraid ..i knww nothgin about the
ticketing w hik..but i kept on askign people w hik till at last i
foiund myelf int he airplane..
w then..done!!found myslef in florida's airport!!oops!!did i really
get into here alone???Godddddd!!
i was waiting for my luggage when i saw a middle aged woman
callign..umm..is it farah??
this was my host mother..
we got home..and i got to meet the rest fo the family/..the grandpa
and ma..my "uncle" and cousins..w hik
this all went great
then..i knew that the other day was to be my first in school!
o'owww!!

2nd day:
iu woke up early, washed and dressed and got my breakfast and ran to
school//guess what??people there were nicer than what i expected ...
and whenever i told anyone that i was alone in there, i would here
the word:"cool"!!!!
i met my teachers,,loved the classes..i told you, i chose the
bnest courses that i got..
and then...
i went home with lots of assignments!!
till now i'm workign on these!!! i'm making up for my 2 weeks late
attendance..
but it's okay..
that's all till now..
i got a group of ppl...colleagues,, some are tough and soem are
nice.. but i managed to get a tgroup of people in the classes, lunch
time and school bus while am back home..
to be continued..(whom do u think ana 3am allid?:P)
hehe..love
farah

Dairy Number Two

why am i here?
> i'm writing this from my english class(but typing it later akid)
> we've got a free time and i chose to write u my feelings in
various
> timing of a day
> we're watching "the count of mont cristo" ..oh my God!can anyone
> be so misjudged that he loses his whole life!??
> this scares me!
> but why am i here?
> sometimes i say..to sxchange..sometimes it is..to try something
> new..sometimes..to be independant..dunno..which is right??which is
> honest??dunno!
> i feel good when am in a group ..i feel wanted.. i'm spending my
> whole day with my friends..and when am back, and done with
homework,
> my sis and i keep playign and joking and chatting..she's a cute
> little girl..i guess having a younger girl compensates the feeling
> of lonliness, becasue she needs a bit care..in fact i'm not so
> responsible of that but..i feel happy when i spend time with her
as
> an adult..as a big sister..i have never tried this feeling before..
> yesterday in the bus, i met a girl named "liki"..she is new here
> too..she's american adn she moved here with her parents,,which
means
> that her situation is different from mine but still... she was new
> aliek me..and that erased the feelign fo lonliness totally..
>
>
> now it's 8:15 pm..
> a different time of today..
> oh ..ui'm really here! do i sound weird when i say that i
sometimes
> forget that? i sometimes forget that am far from my family and
> original community, but with ppl being that nice here, everything
is
> fine.. duynno but..many ppl are tellign me to wait till i wake up
> from this dream..then they say that i'll be homesick but i don't
> believe in this..i will surely miss some ppl and things but still,
> missing is different from homesickness...
> several hours ago, i felt weird..i felt as if i was lonely and
not
> lonely..odd! but i was reading a book alone in my room and
> suddenly..i felt something different..dunnno how to name that..i'm
> afraid of the word homesick...

Dairy Number 3

...yesterday we went to the mall.i brought many good stuff that i
had lacked.. while getting these, the idea hit my brain: BUYING MY
OWN PERSONAL BELONGINGS MEAN THAT I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE!!this
meant that i have no one to depend on to buy anything for me, or go
to the mall instead of me etc..i hadn't thought of this..never!
i guess these tiny details help me realize the fact of being
simply alone..this didn't scare me but...i used to consult my
friends , sisters and parents in so many things..now no..no one..i
simply have myself..and God...
that was yesterday(8/19th/05--friday afternoon)

for today::
we were shopping again..piclking clothes up when we started
discussing clothing w hik..so i knew that kim(my host mom)doesn't
mind me wearing things that i don't usually wear(brutels, short
shorts which are SO common here in florida due toi the weather)..and
this idea means a lot to me: even in clothign, i could wear whatever
i wanted without anyone saying nope..you can't do this...
so even concerning what i wear and what i don't wear, it's my
choice..
but i wonder...will i make the right choice..and take the
appropriate decision each time i take one???
will i be trustworthy??i mean..to all those who encouraged me to
take such a step...will i be able to make it and take the advantage
of being here???
i just hope so, and i'll woirk so hard to make the answer:"yes"
for all those who encouraged me and said"yopu can make it", i say
that their words are in my mind in every thought that passes by my
mind...
i feel good by depending on myself, whether concerning school,
choosing friends, clubs, activities, values...i feel good because
it's being ME
7atta ish3aren 2aakhar:P
your farah

Dairy number 4

> now am going to sleep..i'll be late in typing this .
> it's 8:30pm..i can't bel;iev am going to sleep that early!but i've
> missed the bus twice and i don't wopn't this to happen again,
> especially that it's out of my control..
> today , at 4 pm, i finsihed my hw and thought about my life back..i
> tried to figure out what each of my people and friends would be
> doinmg..suddenly i smiled and said, "zaven must concluding
> now.."this brought a smile to me..how i still have the same
desirere
> to watch sere wen fatahet..i truly disliek the way that i;'m losing
> things thyat i'm used to...God!this is what i love and find myslef
> in, so why do i have to get into other things??
> what else happened yesterday??oh!i spoke to my community
> representative.. she's the one who assists me in my questiogn and
> concernc..she seemed to eb happy to hear my news, and honestly
> speakign,while i was talkignt oher,i felt how lucky iwas for havnig
> things going that easily..
>
> today!!ahh!my host sis seems to begin trying to give me a hard
time!!
> she's 11 and ..i know she's a kid , but that's what i didn't want
> her to be!when i knew her age i thanked god.i thought that a 4 year
> difference wouldn't matter..unfortunately..yes it does.
> but i found her clue..when she tries to eb tough, am just
tougher,
> i ignore her, not negatively, but treat her like she does..a few
> minuts later, she's okay..and normal again!!
> that's all in my mind tonight ..se you tomorrow

Dairy Number 5

i cried!
thanks god!this is the first time i lose a tear since i left our
home..i still remember ho dry that goodbye was..and i have wondered
why.now i know the reason..i didn't understad-at the moment that i
stepped out of our house-the meaning of being alone in a continent
separate from where ur ppl are!!

now, there is no one to 4give,.i'm the only one who's supposed to
handle them ..this kills me.i no more want to eb alone wala shi..

all i want is wakign upat home, hear fairuz-the thign that i use to
hate!-and fight with my sis because the soudn of the radio is loud
while am asleep!
yea!that's the lifestyle that i want..i want to be backkk...kisss
mom's cheecks in the early morning..i want to bring my sister back
from wherever she is, just to cry in front of her, to express my
feelings to her , and enjoy seeign her listenign to my problems and
telling me that's all okay..rannoush..who'd do this now?

the simple reason of this sudden change in my mood is that about
half an hour ago, i was still at school, one of the classmates that
i ahdn't really known before commented on em living abroad of my
home country:"wow!!i don't think i can handle that!"
"who can?"was my answer!i forgot whom i was talkign about!and i
suddenly realized that terrible bad and sad and sick feelign!!!
homesickness!

as if the idea hit my head for the first time!i ran to home , i
saw no one on my path..i was lost in the world of memories until my
eyes got wet.
and that tear was more than just a tear..it was kind of a start..i
looked around..thanks god..no one noticed..i didn't want a single
person to be concerned about me at that moment..i wanted no one to
ask me "what's the matter?"..although this would be very kind of
them, this would just get me worse..

so tha's the case now!beautiful!!please anyone tells me...am i
being childish or what??

8/25th/05--3:15

Dairy number 6

today is Saturday, september 3rd, 2005

in general it was a good day..even in details..i felt good. well,
here is what happened:

i slept deeply , although i got a nap during yesterday afternoon-
the thign i never do, but my last period ,biology, was really boring
and drove me sleepy..and in addition, i got a 10- hour-sleep..
well i don't consider myself telling stupid details now because
this was the reason of why i felt good since the morning.i played
hide-and-seek with my sis and her friend...

then we went to the movies..in fact everythign was great except for
the...movie!! walla..the movie itself was disgusting..by the way,
when it is shown in lebanon, i really don't advice any of you to
think of seeing this..it's called"the 40 year virgin"..it's SO nasty
believe me..and kim and i were worried of what to do with amirah -
who of course shouldn't watch this, and she didn't like the other
shows.. at last i took an advantage fo this and took her out of the
show! well, it was much better for me even!

and..what else?i couldn't call my parents for a problem in the
calling card.. but it's okay , for tomorrow i can call them from
grandma's ..

did i tell you about my grandma?? i guess so..when we worked in
her office, and this way i could finish 2/3 of my required volunteer
work hours..she's a truly wonderful woman..i love her 3anjad.

and i forgot to tell you about my detention!!
yeah..i got a detention..it was for the stupid tardy thing..being
late for class.the first time was because i didn't knwo where the
classroom was, and this time was because i was so far from the
classroom when the bell rang.

what was funny is that when i got into the classroom being late
for the second time, i hadn't known that..fa mishye bi kil si2a
binnafes and my teacher was like.."farah, you're late!!"

he checked his list and said0" oops!i have to give you a detention
this way"..i was happyP:P..it was the first time i get a detention
and i had always wanted to know what ppl do during it:P

so i said "okay, give me a detention, fair enough"..and he was
surprized cause i was so happy with it:D

so i had to organize the class..wonna laugh??i was late for the
detention again..it was the school bus not me!!

wonna know why i enjoyed it??because it was in the lab..the tv
production lab..and because it was for my favorite class and
teacher, and when i was going to the lab , trying to sound serious
and sorry, he was like "hey farah, smile!"
see why i loved doing it?? because the teacher is wonderful.and the
place of my"punishment" was my best pplace in the whole school.i
dealt with the cams and recorders and papers of plans..

after finishing i went to the class, smiling :D..my teacher asked
of howit was, expecting me to be angry:P..i was like.great, i didn't
feel punished!!i worked in the lab!

i could see the surprize on his face ..ssing a student happy
becasue she ahd a detention..when he asked"does it really make any
difference ?" and i told him what the difference was, he couldn't
resist a loud laugh:P

well, this was on thursday..and yesterday,friday, the same teacher
called me to tell my my grade on the progress report..fa i walked
toward his desk and with an intended innocence said" am not
expecting a great mark so just tell me and i'll be happy"..so was
like"why being so fisty???".. i spent the whole hour thinking of the
meaning of the word, until he told me that it means"full of
spirits".

those aree my news ..and everyday i spend 1 and a half hours of
fun in this class..beautiful materials, fun teacher..shu fi a7la min
hik?:P:D

oh alloush!!i found out what our mistake during filming
was..remember when you told me that while editing, you heard some
soudn effects?? well, i "learnt" that we should wok on the s/n
(signal to noise)ratio...the filming was the first thing that i had
in my mind when the teacher mentioned this::P

Dairy Number 7

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
guess why am laughing!!
today, and just at this moment, i felt SUCCESS!!
well, i've worked hard for that.
truly..
well, let me tell you what's happening:
-we had a barbique today at grandma's place..i met a friend family
to the family..the father is egyptian..can you imagine my feeling
talking Arabic again??face to face? joking and laughing in arabic?:P
well, of course, whenever one fo them passed, we had to convert into
english in order not to seem rude, but it really filled me with joy
to do that .
-the barbique finished and we were in the car , preparing to come
back home. And something very meaningful to me happened:
Amnirah seemed mad, and i tried to calm her down..i was liek"are you
okay?","honey can i help?"..she meant to ignore me and not to
reply.i said okay,let's see what the problem with this kid is..
i simple ignored her..this time i was cruel..it seems she forgot
what she did and called me again, i passed by her , ya3ni it was
obvious that i heard her, but wala ka2inno fi shi 3am yi7kini..
you know what?
we were watching a movie, and she started like pulling me
lightly..inno like joking .i was like as if i didn't noticce..when
she forced more, i acted as if i was mad and was like.."stop it"!!
guess what she answered??
"well, am just trying to have your attention!!"
i felt that wow!wa2akhiran i made sure she's a normal kid..
she went to kim , and whispered"it seems like farah is mad at me..i
don't wonna ask her, would you ask her for me?"
and that's what she got..i told kim that it wasn't the first time it
happened..and she laughed and said i was completely right..once i
was ut of the room , amirah jumped into there to know my answer:D
no more than five minutes , amirah was nexct to me(while typing
this email), offering her help in takign my dish to the dishwasher,
and asking of whether i had prayed or not yet, and whether she could
do it with me, and showing me the praying rugs she had, and showing
me herself in the praying dress, and offering making a sandwich for
me, and....
and i wonder:do i have to be cruel for her to be nice? God i hate
to see that i'm mean.but i wasn't mean for nothing,i believe that i
did nothign wrong,and the results proved my point of view!
well, now i'm getting to check what she wants from me...i hope she
stays that kind till i write the next diaries!
septmeber 4th, 2005(sunday,9:39)

Dairy Number 8
heys all
i guess it's clear from where i got the title..Alexandre-Newyork.
it's a very good movie,and its part of the bunch of my favorite
movies ever by the way.

anyways...this is my diaries again..

monday, september 5th,05

did i tell you what i did on that day?nah!!

i went to a lebanese restaurant in orlando(florida).. oh my God..
does it serve to describe how it feels?? it's not only a
restaurant..there you can find lebanese food, and even canned food..
adorable music and pictures of lebanon..
there was a pic hung on the wall..it shows all beirut from upside..
when i watched the beach i wondered...i was walking there one day..
that's all what popped into my head at that moment:D

and!!
i joined a new club in our school: the japanese culture club..the
students there are amazing..i met a boy whose parents are saudi
arabian , but he was born here and knows no arabic..but he started
learning it recently..i was happy to meet someone familiar here!
umm...that was the most important thing that happened on that
day.. i discovered something in myself: i love cultural exchange!
(too early to learn about what one lieks right:P??)

tuesday, sep 6th and wednesday 7th:
nothing important...school days..they went good.everything was
find except for a simple headache:D..i got some good grades
too..congradulations to me:D

friday 9th , 2005:

the day was really short..it went so fast..
today i talked to my tv production teacher, and he agreed to be my
mentor ..and i was so pleased for that because he's a perfect
teacher.. so patient and so professional.
other than that, i've just been back from a dinner in a chinese
restaurant..i had always hated the chinese food,buyt today i chanegd
my mind..they really have some good thigns you know?
in the restaurant,kim and amirah picked on me a little bit, they
were kidding ..it was a cool evening today..i mean after the tiring
week work, finally the weekend!
but i don't want tomorow to come!!tomorrow i have an orientaion
for the program in a 2-hour-drive place..kim said that whenever she
would go to taht meeting, she would get bored as she learns the same
thigns..nothign new, and they are so slow in talkign w hik..3anjad i
don't feel like going there, but it's okay.
i today finished reading a very sad and imressive book about the
german-jewish war..i have no comment to tell about it except that
it's FANTASTIC..it descriobes the tiny details of the jews' lives as
prisoners..i loved it.

umm..anything lse?i don't think so... but i have somehting to add..
a couple of days ago, mom flied to lebanon again..i hadn't felt that
she was near while in canada but when i realized that she left, i
felt that i have no one on the whole continent..for a moment, the
thought was scary..
but i then was back to reality..i'm being strict with myself these
days, for not to feel bad again..and that's helping me..don't you
think?
written on september 9th 05

Dairy 9 . . .

Saturday September 10th , 2005
It was a good day..
I had my first orientation on that day. And it was a looong drive,
but on the way, kim and I spoke much.. I told her about what I did
in my trip, and she told me when the first time she traveled alone
was, and how she got married etc..This conversation made me feel
good. I love sharing personal subjects by the way..
Anyway, we reached Gainesville and I met the other exchange
students of the area..they were from Germany, Brazil , Korea,
Tajikistan, and another country that I can't recall..it ends
with "stan" too..
I was proud to represent a whole country in front of some people
who know nothing about it, but it scared me at the same time: I felt
that they didn't see me as me..they probable saw the Arabs in
me..and I wonder what kind of example I am..
There was a lecture given by some native Americans
(Indians).interesting, but too long. I also met my community and
area representatives, who were so cute and kind to me and to all
others. I even learnt that my area representative wanted to host me
when she saw my profile, but Kim was faster to pick me up. This
makes me laugh. Both would be great to me at any case..
Then we were back home. I had some forms about my first
impressions here and mentoring that I had to fill. So I finished
them and... I ended up exhausted and sleepy.

Dairy Number 10 . . .

tuesday sep 13th ,05.

here i am..
relaaaaxed..delighted!
but not the whole dayw as as great as this moment!nop!
the biggest event of today's was a "fight"..decent one!you can
guess!
i don't like to mention the reason and details because i don't
wonna keep such a thing in my memory later.. bas fashshit khil2e at
the end... i announced my final decision:the last time i tolerate
any freaky behavior toward me!After all, she apologized after kim
talked to her and we talked about it..we ended up with a deal!
finally!
but ..this was so salutary to me..3anjad..it was beneficial.. i
found out at the moment i was semi-shouting that i had been stressed
without even noticing it..la 2annoo i felt i was back to life after
all things were over..i also loved kim more and more after i saw her
situation.
the best place where i feel safe is my room..it's like my only
corner here..it's where i daydream of everything that i want to
happen whether it was possible or impossible to happen.
after all, i beliueve that part of my goals will be achieved one day.
i just need God's will, my parents' prayings for me, and some inner
help..
"self control is knowing that you can, but deciding you
won't"..it's a proverb hanged in my engish class..it fills me with
strengh whenever i read it.i remember it when i feel am doing
something that i don't want to do..like i feel i can wake up late,
but i know i'll have a tiring day at school after this, so i just
pull myself to do what my mind wants me to do..and it helps!!
i can calll myself strong only in one case:if i'm able to commit
mistakes that i can avoid and i do avoid them..
and after am done with my long lecture:P, i'm back to reality:i got
my first grades board today, i got 2 As and 2 Bs..
how i miss mom's voice!
how stupid i was not to realize from the beginning that being at
home is a gift!
i miss my dad as well.i know he's wodnering these days whether his
choice was right or wrong..but i promise...i'll do my very best not
to make him regret it one day..
13th of september, 2005

Dairy Number 11

in the past week something truly weird happened..there was some
virs in the computer and it went off..gradually, it turned out not
to let anyone log into it.With no internet access, and of course no
phone calls-international i mean-, i quitely could not reach my
parents by any means of communication.

my brain was full of thoughts and i was terribly mentally
distracted. i was too much busy with school. i also went to the
training center of Clermont to start my official volunteer work
there. i was glad that i could make that. Volunteering has always
been one of my interests.

in the lab, till now i have took the jobs of stage managing, video
taping(the job that i enjoyed the least) , lighting and the
camerawomen. our tv production club will also start on thursday, and
i know it will be fun. this class really satisfies my aspirations!

Amirah and I seemed to be getting along very well so far also. I'm
now enjoying the big sis, the thing i'd always wished to try. i
wonder why big sisters and brothers always nag and complain about
having a younger sibling..i think it's fun..like now..Kim is outside
for the evening and i'm the eldest, so i'm supposed to be
responsible for the house, amirah and her friend. This fills me with
the good feeling of trust. i honestly love it...the feeling that i'm
needed..i mean..mom would always make me feel important and so on,
and even now, she keeps on telling me that our house sounds so
silent, but i doubt it cause my sisters are still there, and it
couldn't be that i'm the soul of acivity in the whole house! i know
that Mom means to let me know how much i mean to her and to the
family, she always did anyway..but now i FEEL it..

on thurday, it was the first time i met my french teacher's
substitue. She was talking about the importance of knowing variouis
languages when she knew that i knew arabic.eventually,she learnt
that i'm an exchange student, and she told me that she was one too
(she's German)..could the way i felt be described?A lady in her late
fifties telling me how an experience in her teenage years had
influenced her... at that moment, i was reassured.i somehow learnt
for sure that what i'm doing now won't be for nothing.thus, being
away from my parents and family and friends and school bla bla bla
is a pain for which it's worth...

and i noticed that this very gentle teacher had a big influence on
the other kids.. many had spoke to our class about the importance of
knowing other languages and civilizations , but they were shouting
in deaf ears..but her speech was well listened to, i could feel it.
The fun part was when i returned to class, semi-walking semi-
dancing - the way i "walk" when i'm so delighted, grinning stupidly(
it's the way i sometimes look like when i just feel like returning
to childhood for some seconds of my whole lifetime)..anyway, while i
was enjoying my childish acts, she came close and , accompanied with
a smile, she told me that i had a lognely smile..woops!me?thank
you:).. that's all i could say. and i guess i won't ever forget such
a person even when this year is over.

i guess this was pretty long this time..i still have much to say
and many feeligns and thoughts to express.but i was boring enough
right?:P)
written on sept 24th(happy anniversay again!) ,2005

Dairy Number 12

27th of september ,2005
i'm writing this lazily..
Days are passing slowly and quickly at once!sometimes i feel time
is really quick ,certainly when i realize that i've been here for
(..)..today, at this moment, ive been away for 48 days, 21
hours ..too much! BUt ,ten i soon think about it differently,i know
that i'll have much more than that to spend here,,so it's still so
soon till this period ends..
at the end of each rial to think about this, i end up saying"why
count?why bother? i'm here anyway, whatever happens,so why not just
enjoying it?"
things have been going very well recently..i've gone to the movies
with grandpa and grandma ,with kim and amirah..i watched
flightplan...what a good movie!great plot, cast and quality..
today,i was highly active.in fact i have been so since yesterday
morning.i've been early to class-earlier than ever-so patient,so
tolerant, and ..i guess,not so sure..so wise:D
in my tv production class today, i had a great time.first,the
teachr was so pleased with my bell ringer,and he said that i was the
first to give the right answer,which reassured me :P:D..the second
good thing was my job in the lab-producer..i checked the scripts,
kill dates,had the new announcements typed,and put them in
order.being busy gave me the feeling of joy...the joy of work,which
i don't think i'll ever lose as i'm dealing with what i love..
everything after this was peaceful-maybe to the extent of being
boring.i needed something unsual to happen..and soon it was on the
way..
i was in the lunchroom when a guy suddenly threw me a smile.i
remembered that i had seen him before-during the fire drill..he told
me that i seem to be spanish.new piece of information huh?:P
anyway, what was funny was the part when he asked -with total self-
confidence- for me phone #!in my normal cool tone, i was like"i
don't thjink my host mom will like that"..i let her be my fake
reason beasue i wasn't in the mood of giving my long lecture! am in
the noise, he heard me wrong..and he shouted in amazement:"you're
married???!:
crap!how does he hear??then i knew that "host mom"sounds
like "husband"..cool!married in the sophomore class!
it was embarrasing!!!all people looked at me and were like "what
the hell is going on there?"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and i felt i wanted to
express my anger and shock but thanks God i didn't!
anyway, after he was gone, my friends commented by saying it had
been a date...as if i had had no idea, i acted with fake innocence,
and made it clear that sorry people, i don't date your way!
there was much more to say about this day, but i prefer to make
it as shwort as possible,since what's coming next is more
interesting,,:)
farah

Dairy Number 13

today is october 2nd
it's saturday, 6:28 pm at the moment..
i've got a call from my family just two hours ago.i swear i felt it
when the phone rang..i had been praying for the caller to be mom
since the morning..and at last it was her:P
i have been in a desire to hear from them lately, from everyone i
know there..i could speak to mom and dad, and while speaking to my
sis, i could no longer hear her..
i had to leave the house before i coudl make sure they weren't to
call again.however i felt so good at that moment..we then went to
the store and i bought myself some new stuff-maily candies:D:P:D:P..
For an anonymous reason i felt as it i were rewarding myself.what
for?i have no clue!don't ask!Maybe i'm unconciously trying to keep
myself in a good mood,.perhaps i am just taking it easy becasue i've
been a good girl so far..whenever i talk to my parents i feel
satisfied and mature. i feel that i'm their little girl, telling
them i'm fine alone, far from them.it makes me feel secure.

i haven't been under depression but once, which i mentioned
before. but since then i can't recall feeling down.life has suddenly
turned to be so easy,sweet and joyful.

yet something abut my family changed.especially for my sis,..she
seemed to be much elder, more mature, more balanced...could such a
change happen in such a shrot period of time?could it be
university? i would definetly hate it if everything will have
changed when i'm back.

i want to be back to Grandma's coffee, to mom's routine work
schedule, to waking us alone in the mornign and rushing to school
while everyone else is asleep, to washing dishes(!!!!!!!!!!), to
staying up late performing projects ,speically on monday nights(and
mom would know it's nothing more than a trick, and yet let me stay
awake:P).

sounds stupid doesn't it?but truly it's not...i've found out that
the thing we hate, the things that get on our nerves, the thing we
wish would be abolished and erased from our lives, these are the
things which make our lives, and give it the sense of "life".

On thursday was my first attendance to the school's tv production
club ..let me try to desribe how i felt at first...hmmmm let's see..
umm: it's kind of being new , but not the fear of being new, cause
the room is my favorite place in thee whole school, and the teacher
is my favorite..and the issues we're there for is my central
interest. so it was kind of...good feeling:D..

we wanted someone to go shoot the homecoming for the video yearbook
project, but no one seemed to be able to go but me.So here is the
important news :Two weeks from now, i'll be in the homecoming for
business (i love to say it this way,i feel
important :D:P:D),representing the club and shooting the event:)

Another guy from the club will be there for help in case i need
it, so hopefully everythign is gonna go fine and hopefully i'll
survive..it will be challenging for me, but it's still fun though.

my midterms are on wednesday and thursday, i wonder if i'll be
here before that..wish me luck guys and pray for me:)

i'll be alone at home now cause each is out with her friends.
woww!this is how i like to spend my evenings nowadays-just nowadays-
quite, peaceful, and free..yes!

Piczo